你在害怕什么：病毒，死亡还是其他事？ 2020.3.12 "lose loved ones before their time"
This is a post that I keep adding since 3rd March 2020.
The new writings are in green and previous ones in grey.
2020.03.12
"lose loved ones before their time"
你失去所爱之人的时间可能比想象中更早
2020.03.10-11 Your social responsibility
你的社会责任感
你好呀，
Hi there,
今天一天的心情肯定是很复杂的，就像伦敦的天气一样阴晴不定，傍晚太阳落山后就接连有两个让我有点低落但也觉得总算到了的爆炸性消息。
It has been a complicated day for my emotions and the London weather (which is typical, getting used to it), two breaking news after sunset. I am a bit down and also feel "finally".
from my phone's screen shot
from my UCL emailbox
政府级别的新消息里就有我标题里这句话，跟着又是学校发来的同校学生确认感染。我似乎也变得更能体会到被困在武汉的人、被困在意大利北部的人都有过怎么样的心境转变。
The news from government has the phrase in the title, and UCL informed everyone about a confirmed. I seem to be better in understanding the situation and psychological transitions faced by Wuhan and Northen Italian.
我会继续记录自己在伦敦感受的新冠疫情与反思，希望这段历史也会成为一个未来史学家研究的注脚。
I will keep recording and reflecting what I feel about coronavirus in London, hope this part of history will also be a footnote to a future historian interested in pandemic.
由于3.12早起是因为做梦惊醒，所以我就暂时不多写了，睡一觉再继续。你有什么问题或者好奇的也欢迎来问我。
As I got up early due to my dreams, so I will stop here, hopefully will come back for it. And if you also have some curiosity, please let know.
I write this in two languages so the information can hopefully reach out to all my readers, as long as they can and are willing to read Chinese or/and English. And, here is my call: Your thoughts are the most welcome contribution.
我用两种语言来写是希望这些信息能够传到所有我的读者，只要是愿意而而且能够阅读汉语和英语中的任何一种语言。而且，我还想呼吁：你的想法是最受欢迎的贡献。
English comes first today as I feel it is more urgent to wake up the international audidence. And I am not saying my friend's nor my thoughts are mostly correct, we don't want you to panic, we are just trying to provide a different perspective:
maybe wearing mask is not such a bad thing, and perhaps you can do something more than wash your hands, like by starting to not going somewhere crowded.
今天把英语放前面是因为我觉得国际社会更加需要清醒一点。我也不是说我朋友和我的想法就一定最准确，也不想制造恐慌，只是提供另一个角度：
或许戴口罩并不是一件坏事，或许除了勤洗手，你也可以开始少去人流密集的地方。
Today I want to share some thoughts of my friend who studies math. Her mother is also a doctor in a Chinese hospital.
今天我想要和你分享我一个学数学的朋友的一些想法。她妈妈在国内医院做医生。
But I do not mean you need to accept, nor do I want to convince you, just think her view would be a new perspective for you to be more aware of what some Chinese international students in UK think in this time and age:
但我的意图并不是需要你接受，也不是想要说服你，只是认为她的观点会是一个对于你而言新的视角，来意识到在英国的一些中国留学生此时有什么样的想法：
First, data is data, and as most of the data source is from China, reader needs to be aware that the situation in China is different from here in Europe. The Chinese government responded fast and the quarantine measures were quite strict and tough, but here, shutting down cities in European countries may not work as well as in China. The biggest damage Covid19 can do may not be death. Because if the medical and healthcare resources are abundant, young people have quite a low death rate, or light symptoms; but as it is a highly-infectious virus (r0>3, one carrier can infect more than 3 person), and here friends and family usually have bisous. The kiss on the cheek is sweet but can also make the virus easier to reach more people. And also almost no one wears mask. It is possible that the NHS and medical system cannot deal with the epidemic, in fact this is happening in Italy, some areas already give up treating the elder who have severe symptoms. The death rate in Italy is growing.
首先，数据是数据，但大部分是来自于中国，中国情况和欧洲不一样。中国的政府介入很快而且封城措施强硬，但欧洲这边即便是封了也杯水车薪。Covid19最大的危害不是在于死亡率，因为如果医疗资源充足的话（比如在中国），年轻人基本上死亡率是很低的，或者说就只是轻微症状而已；但由于病毒的高度传染性（r0>3），加上欧洲有贴面礼啦，不带口罩啦，估计会更高，所以会出现医疗医院供不应求的情况，事实上意大利已经是这样了，看采访米兰伦巴第已经采取了放弃高龄重症病人的措施。现在意大利的死亡率是渐渐上升的。
Secondly, in terms of medical and healthcare system, Italians seem to have a better one than the UK. The critical care beds in Italy is above 10 but around 6 in UK. Just in case things get serious, UK citizens can face a more difficult situation to get good health care treatment.
其次，说到医疗资源，意大利还算好的，每人床位数在10以上，但英国貌似只有6，就是万一情况严重了英国比意大利更难看病。
the picture is provided from my friend
Here is the screenshot source of where she get the chart
Here is the link I found:
https://www.zhihu.com/question/378453425/answer/1071108864
(Zhihu is like Quora, this answer is from a medical student)
Lastly, what if the medical system cannot handle the situation? Many people will get infected but not get treatment in time, it is similar to what happened in Wuhan at its early stage, light symptoms if not treated may become severe, and it usually more likely to pass on to more people and then the death rate would grow. Will coronavirus be widely spread in UK? From the data, it is likely. Comparing each countries’ data, what is happening to Italy is similar to what happened to Wuhan one month ago, the curve trend in France and Germany is similar to what Italy had 9 days ago, UK's chart is like Italy two weeks ago. Therefore, be careful is a better choice.
最后，万一英国医疗资源不够会出现什么情况? 那就是可能很多人感染了却没有办法得到治疗缺医少药，变成初期的武汉，轻症得不到及时治疗就可能会变成重症，不仅容易传染给更多人而且变成重症死亡率也会骤升。英国可能会出现那样大范围的传播吗？看数据是很有可能。对比各个国家得数据，意大利是一个月前武汉的曲线，法国德国是9天前的意大利，而英国是两周前的意大利，所以还是小心为妙。
To me, it is a social responsibility issue.
对我来说，这个就是社会责任感的问题。
I am fine if I caught it, but one can indirectly without knowing to get others infected, some of them may die.
自己感染没关系，但一个人有可能间接传染给更多人，这些人里面就可能有人死亡。
To me it sounds like killing someone indirectly.
所以在我看来，有点像是间接杀人。
We try to be careful is not just for ourselves, but also for the sake of lowering the danger others can face.
我们小心谨慎，不仅仅是为了自己，也是为了降低其他人的危险。
My friend also said:
我的朋友还补充到：
In fact I just summarise many Chinese international students’ viewpoints and the comments on Zhihu.
其实我也就是总结了一下很多中国留学生的看法以及知乎上的意见。
But to be honest, most people I see here in UK is not taking the situation serious enough, the Italian learned their lesson to realise how terrible the virus is.
但的确，许多英国人心太大了，意大利人吃了亏才终于明白病毒有多可怕。
Even as a person who studies mathematics, data is not the only thing to be relied on, the conditions and environment behind the data is also part of the key.
即便是作为学数学的人，也不能只是看数据的，这个数据背后的条件环境也是关键一环。
又一次合并了周日和周一，我这两天都在忙着写国际女性日相关的推送，对于“病毒”的主题没有过多关注，但昨晚瞄了一眼推特也注意到了现在正是英国乃至整个世界都有点紧张的时候。
Again I combined Sunday and Monday, busy editing the post relevant to International Women's Day, so not focusing on the virus too much, but last night I noticed that it is also a bit intensive in UK, maybe also worldwide.
screenshots from my twitter (9th March 2020)
越是在这种时候，我越觉得需要意识到：面对所有可能的未来，尽可能平等对待每一个人。这件事比之前更重要了。这意味着不要轻易去评价他国的抗疫政策，但当然对于一些非常反智的所谓大人物发表的言论也没有必要容忍。我认为完全可以反驳他的观点，但不必人身攻击他。这不是区别对待，而是因为平等对待本来就不是对每个人都一模一样。每个人总有底线在，而各人的底线不尽相同。之后几天我会详述。
At this time and age, I feel this has been more important than ever: facing all possible futures, try your best to treat everyone equal. This mean do not comment the other countries' policies without knowing what is going on, but of course someone 'big' has been saying very anti-intellectual thing, there is no need to tolerate. I think it is totally okay to fight againt his opinion, but no need to go too personally. This is not treating people with different standards, treating people equally does not treat everyone the same at everything. Everyone has bottomlines and these bottomlines are different. I will spend more time on this in a few days.
将周五周六两天合并在一起，在周日早上写回顾，我确实偷懒了。一是因为有太多想要说和写的。之前都谈过歧视与偏见，今天还正好在国际女性日，可以来谈谈爱❤️。
I put my Friday and Saturday together and decided to write something this Sunday。I have too much to say and write. Discrimination and bias have been mentioned, on the International Women's Day, I want to talk about love.
会有人觉得爱很让你感到害怕吗？我会，我害怕盲目的爱，你爱的这个人或这件事是你想象中的，而不是ta们本身真正的模样，或者不是ta们想要的那种爱。我也害怕全身心交付给对方的爱，因为我更愿意认为每个人都是独立自主的个体，虽然有时想要依赖也需要陪伴。但本质上来说，清醒一点！至少我的理智会告诉我要自己好好活着，太爱另一个人会给双方都带来危险，甚至令人窒息。
Will you feel love makes you feel afraid? I will, I am afraid of blind love, you love the person or something as you imagined not who/what they really are, or the way they appreciate to be loved. I am also afraid of love someone with everything you have, as I would consider everyone is an independent and autonmous individual, although you may want to rely on someoneg else or something, or you need companion. But to see its nature, wake up! At least my mind would tell me to live well by myself, loving someone too much will bring danger or make you both feel difficult to breath.
抱歉昨天（2020.3.5）因为一些个人的'不可抗力'所以没有及时更新推送。但换成睡饱一觉之后来回味昨天的高光时刻感觉也很不错，有一种"昨日重现"的感觉。我昨天印象最深再次得到确认的一点就是从他人的眼中看世界。
I am sorry that I did not update this post at the night of 5th March 2020 due to some personal 'force majeur'. But tasting last night's highlights after one good sleep is not bad, feeling like "Yesterday once more". The most impressive point I got confirmed last night is: see the world from other people's eyes.
你在见证我试着训练自己的耐心，不跳来跳去，就在自己昨天挖的坑里，不改变主标题，只在每天更新时加上日期与副标题。每天我写的新内容用绿色，要是有读者对我写的内容有评论并且也希望我做出回应的话，不妨告诉我你喜欢的颜色，我回应时会用你喜欢的颜色。这样写每日推送在我看来是一个建房子的过程。坦白说，还不知道会持续多久，可能要看我和疫情谁先耗得过谁吧。
You are witnessing me trying to practice my patience, instead of jumping to different topics, I would like to stay in the 'hole' I dug yesterday, not changing the title, just adding the date and subtitle. Everyday I will use green for my new writings, and if any of my reader has a comment on the content I wrote and I will try to reply with the colour you like (if you told me). Writing daily post in this way, for me, is a process of building a house. To be honest, no one knows how long it will last, it may depend on me and the coronavirus outbreak.
微信公众平台可选的颜色
Available colours here at wechat public platform
看着上面这些颜色，有让我想起来有一次在某个学术会议的分会场做主持人。一位讲者分享她的研究就是和颜色有关的情绪，以及颜色在不同文化中赋予的意义。比如，红色在一些文化中可以代表喜悦，也可以表示危险。所以，放在GEO的推送情境中，绿色代表的就是清新而且要让你注意到是新的思考，灰色代表虽然也是很重要的想法但不能太吸引人注意。
Take a look at these colours above reminds me of my experience as a host in some session of an academic conference. One speaker shared her research about emotions related to colours, and the different meanings of colour in different cultures. For example, red can be joyful in some culture, but in some others may mean dangerous. So, in the context of my post in GEO, green words means fresh and it wants you to notice they are new thoughts, grey words means they are equally important but trying not to catch your eyes for long.
为了能够触及更多的读者，发出更大的声音，让我看待世界的视角可以再多走一步，从这条推送开始，我尝试用双语写推送，并且也会在今天（2020.03.03）新建立的一个网址同步更新：
https://hermionegeo.wordpress.com
To reach more readers, speak in a louder voice, and make one step to promote my perspective of the world, I will try to write post in two languages, and also update in my new blog since 3rd March 2020, starting from this post: https://hermionegeo.wordpress.com
其实我发现双语写作还有个好处，我得想两次这样表达是否合适精准：能否做到给原本使用一种语言的读者一个机会去了解另一群人的机会？而且不是通过翻译机器，是通过写作者本人为对话的桥梁。突然觉得这有点让我想起来了泰戈尔自己翻译整理自己的孟加拉语诗歌成英文。写出来不是要抬高自己成诗人，是意识到原来这种不假手于人，可以自如表达本意是挺幸运的一件事。尽管很敬佩译者，也觉得计算机科学家们研发的翻译机器很优秀，但还是觉得自己更了解自己一点。
Actually I realise another advantage of bilingual writing, I have to think twice whether it is appropriate and accurate：can my writing provide an opportunity for readers who can only speak one of the two languages to know the others who speak another language? And it is not through the translator machine, but through the writer as a bridge for conversation. All of a sudden, Rabindranth Tagore came to my mind, he translated his poems, originally written in Bengali to English. I am not comparing myself to a poet, just realising my good fortune in expressing myself in two languages. I admire the translators, and appreciate the computer scientists' development on machine translation, but I still consider that I understand myself a bit more.
选用“你在害怕什么：病毒，死亡还是其他事”为标题，最近的触发点有两个:一是英格兰国家医疗服务体系将新冠病毒列为'最高危险等级’，二是因为新冠病毒引起的新加坡留学生在牛津街被辱骂并遭到殴打。
Choosing “What's your fear: virus, death or something else?" as the title is triggered by two news today: firstly, the NHS England categorised coronavirus as 'highest level of emergency'; secondly, a coronavirus hate attack victim Singapore student punched by thugs on Oxford street.
在2020年3月4号这一天晚上我在伦敦发稿前，目前英国已经有了87个病例。具体的抗疫情况我不想过多做评价，毕竟目前身处其中还很难说。或许百年之后的史学家会有公允的论述。但我着实觉得一些“抄作业”的言论以及觉得应该停止所有大型集会、并且希望在户外都带上口罩的一些国内公众号推送以及其中的高赞评论，非常令我失望。有太多的事情要考虑，怎么可能只有一种解决办法？这样妖魔化国外的做法，在某种程度上，不是和之前我们一开始抗疫时受到的一些不友好的言论，令我们不舒服一样吗？
Before I post this at the evening of 4th March 2020 in London, 87 cases have been confirmed in UK. I do not want to comment too much on the policies and reactions of what is being done. Probably the historians in 2120 will give fair statement. BUT I do feel VERY disappointed at the posts I saw on wehcat and some highly-liked comments when they seem to look down on the efforts other countries are doing, just shouting "copy what has been done”. There are too many things to consider, how can there be only one solution? I would use 'demonise' to say my feelings about their behaviour, to some extent, it is like doing the same thing we feel uncomfortable when some unkind comments we received at the beginning of coronavirus outbreak in China.
source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51741001
我有一个朋友曾经问我为什么不作恶？我说因为知道我不喜欢那样被人对待，所以选择践行孔子说的”己所不欲，勿施于人“。所以还请看到这里的你看见国内疫情得到控制，国外病例增长的时候，不要竟然萌生出一种莫名其妙的优越感。生而为人有移情能力是好，但你不是那个人，很难准确 知道对方走了多远。至少你可以选择不横加指责，更别轻易用自己的尺度，不理性思考就去评价对方的行为。人是有言论自由，但也要想想语言的力量再说话。
My friend once asked why I do not do bad things? I said it is because I do not want to be treated badly, that is why I choose to act upon what Confucius say " What you do not want to done to yourself, do not do to others". So when you look at the situation get into control in China and increase cases outside China, do not feel superior. It is a good thing to have empathy but you are still not the person, very difficult to know how far one has gone. At least you can choose not to blame, not use your ruler to judge others' behaviour without thinking critically. People do have speech freedom, however, speak after you take into consideration of the power language can have.
作为生活在伦敦的中国留学生，此时适合分享我的思考，摆明我的态度，否则可能我死了，因为不住在我脑子里其他人也不知道我想到过这些。既然我还能够用文字发声，那就要尽力触到笔力的边缘。
As an international student from China and live in London, it is time to share my thoughts and attitudes, otherwise no one is likely to know my ideas because they do not live in my brain. Since I choose to speak up with my words, I would like to try to write as clear as I can.
阻断病毒的传播，先从注意个人卫生习惯开始
To stop the spread, start by paying more attention to
personal hygiene habits
这一部分在我看来不需要多说，已经有很多宣传物料。我只想强调一点的是：洗手不仅是保护自己，也是一种保护自己关心的要见面的亲友的方式。我自己最近的习惯都是到了室内之后脱外套后再好好洗手。
I see no need to emphasise as there are a lot materials available. All I want to say is that: washing your hands not only protect you but also protect the family and friends you care when you spend time together. My recent habit is to take off coat and wash hands thoroughly when get indoors.
阻断病毒带来的歧视与犯罪，需要教育与科普
To stop the discrimination and crime, education is needed
歧视这件事，在我看来是比病毒还要可怕得多的事情，因为永远研发不出来疫苗，并且还不会因为宿主的死亡而消散。所以，相比街头会有的肢体暴力与语言暴力，我觉得人固执己见的歧视更令我恐惧。这种歧视往往伴生着优越感（一种无知的自我陶醉）。
Discrimination to me, is more terrible than virus, because there is no vaccine, and it does not stop spreading when the host is dead. Therefore, comparing to the violence in the street, I am more afraid of the stubborn discrimination one can have. This kind of discrimination always comes with superioirty (an ignorant narcissism).
可能有读者要觉得我这么写是我有高高在上的优越感，甚至我可以想象到一些人会觉得用双语写作就是我在彰显自己的优越感。那我能说什么呢？选择建房子铺桥造路的人，那就比如要比呆在舒适区做沉思状更有可能出错甚至遇到风险，难道做就不做了吗？所谓的歧视，很多时候是因为不够了解彼此而导致的，那我提供更多信息、鼓励人深入思考怎么就是优越感呢？只要我觉得自己是辛勤耕耘的劳动者，我自己也是在这个过程中学习训练更精准的表达，我不是很在意一些人对我的误解。
Perhaps some reader may feel I am writing this as I am feeling superior, I can even imagine someone would consider writing bilingually is a proof. What can I say? People who choose to build the house, bridges or roads, are more likely to make more mistakes and face risks than those who stay in comfort zone and pretend to be deep in thought. As long as I see myself as a diligent worker, and I learnt to articulate myself, I do not care some misunderstandings.
我对于把种族歧视和新冠疫情引起的街头暴力犯罪行为绑定在一起持有稍显谨慎的态度。从一个教育行业从业者的角度来看，我会认为罪犯是对病毒有误解，所以将自身的恐慌扩大到了他们认为可能携带病毒的人身上。碍于这些诉诸暴力的人没有充分意识到在目前这个全球化的时代，长相并无法让人判断这个人的国籍与背景，他们才会给自己的情绪找到了错误的出口。
I am a bit cautious about connecting the racial discrimation with the street violence and crime. The coronavirus hate attack, from my perspective as someone whose speaciality is education, would argue that they have misconceptions of virus, their panic expands to people who they assume may be affected by the virus. There is a possiblity that these people who use the violence to let off their emotions are ill-informed of the fact: in this time and age, only paying attention to what a person look like cannot provide enough information to know where they are from.
当然不排除这些犯罪分子就是种族歧视者，只是多了一个理由施暴而已。可即使是种族歧视者，也并非天生如此。在一些刻板印象尚未形成之前，如果能够意识到地球上各个不同的国家与文化都是丰富多彩的，不是只有“我的文化”、“我的种族”才是最优秀的，那么是否也就会少一点歧视，多一些尊重与理解呢？
Of course it is likely that the hate attacks are carried by racist who need a new reason to go violent. But even someone is a racist now does not mean they are born in this way. Before the seterotype, it would be helpful to realise that the different cultures and countries are existing in our planet earth. When a person perceives his/her identity by not feeling superior due to "my culture" and "my race", would reduce discrimination, add some respect and understandings.
前几天和一个朋友聊天也提及病毒带来的恐慌，我们都觉得可怕的是自己不知道自己是否感染上了。而是如果是无症状感染者，感染了其他人之后会觉得很有负罪感。而对于自己来说，虽然不畏惧死亡，因为免不了这件事，但不明不白地永久消失是我们一致认为更害怕的，那就是死得毫无意义。
In the last few days, I was chatting with one of my friends about the panic caused by the virus, we both feel it is horrible to be not aware of whether I have caught the virus or not. If we are asymptomatic carriers, we would feel very guilty because we may pass on the virus without intention. And coming back to oneself, we both said we are not afraid of death as it is inevitable, but disappear forever without any known reasons would be a more terrifying event, which is, die without any meaning.
对我来说，想到死亡会让我立刻想起我爱的人，希望和这些人有更多美好的时光相处。可能这就是疫情爆发以来我和家人每天都在联系的触发点之一。我想知道家里每天吃什么，我想知道弟弟今天学了什么，有什么想和我交流的...
For me, thinking of death will bring me to thinking of my beloved ones, people who I hope that I can spend more quality time with. Maybe this is partly why I contact my family everyday after the coronavirus outbreak. I want to know every meal my family have, I want to know what my younger brother learnt and if he wants to share with me something.
昨天视频时妈妈提到说现在病毒的影响是人与人之间都感觉得到一种更甚往常的冷漠，不过她除了戴上口罩也还是和往常一样，甚至已经重新开店了。弟弟在我提到一些已经痊愈的患者出院之后仍然被周围的人歧视时，竟然主动说出了一句：他们要换位思考的呀，自己不希望这样被对待，也别这样对待其他人。这两件小事让我意识到说原来不只是我自己觉得这样，至少我生命中的两位家人也是如此。
When I was FaceTime with my mum, she said that the virus makes her feel a colder relationship between people. But except wearing masks and she does the same what she does as ususally, today is the first day she reopened the shop. When I mentioned that some cured patients are being discriminated by people around them, my younger brother said: They need to think from the patients' perspectives, do they want to be treated like this? If not, they should not do this to others. The two incidents makes me realise that not only I think in this way, at least two of my family have similar attitudes.
因为是第一篇写的主题博客，后续还会更新，今晚就先到这里，留个问题：
Because this is the first blog, and I hope to continue writing, so here we are, the question for you to think:
我在读《基地》系列时看到了这样一个观点：暴力是无能者最后的手段。你在何种程度上同意这个观点呢？
In the Foundation by Isaac Asimov , there is a framed statement: Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent(P77). To what extent do you agree with this statement?
在2020年3月4号这一天，我新想到了一些和歧视有关的念头，就增添了进去，所以今日份留给你的思考题是：
你是怎么克服自己曾经有过的一些歧视？
On the 4th March 2020, some ideas about discrimination are shared, after my update, I would like to ask one more question for you to think:
How did you overcome some discrimation you once had?
2020年3月5号晚上，给我研究提意见的'非正式读者’指出“偏见“是每个人都有的。我们都认为在研究中有必要去讨论这样的偏见会带来的影响，而在生活中，也要意识到这些偏见已经存在了，那你要如何处理自己的这些偏见呢？
At the evening of 5th March 2020, an 'informal reader' of my research pointed out that everyone can be "biased". We both agree that it is necessary to discuss these biases openly in doing research, but in our daily life, when you realise you already have some biases, what are you going to do to deal with your biases?
最好的祝福（身心健康）
Best wishes（ have a good health both physcially and mentally）
陶理
Hermione