你如此性感，让我情何以堪？
Sexy Fashions?...What Do Men Think?
杨春（译）
How do women's "sexy" clothes really affect men? As a man, I'dlike to explain. So often, I see women in tight jeans, form-fitting dresses andmini-skirts. Some are wearing "painted-on" pants,low-cut blouses and tight sweaters, while others show parts of their bras hereor there. Women are wearing "sexy" fashions just about everywhere toschool, work, even church.
女人们的性感着装实际上是如何影响男人的？作为一个男人，我想谈谈自己的看法。我经常能看到穿着体型裤、紧身衣和超短裙的女人。还有些穿着彩绘短裤、低胸衫和贴身线衣，有些人故意让胸罩若隐若现。女人们的性感衣服穿到了学校、职场，甚至还穿到了教堂。
Are these women striving to be honored and respected by men? Sometimes Iwonder what their motives are deep down inside. Are they trying to beattractive and fashionable or are they seeking something more? Do they knowwhat signals they're sending men? Are they looking for attention or are theytrying to find a good husband and permanent love? Are they trying to attract adate or trying to boost self-confidence?
这些女性们的大胆尝试能得到男人们尊敬和重视吗？有时候我会对她们真实的动机心存疑惑。她们在努力让自己更加迷人时尚，还是在寻求别的什么东西？她们知道她们传递给男性们的信息究竟是什么吗？她们是想引起他人的注意，还是在寻找真爱和如意郎君？亦或是在想得到别人约会，让自己更加充满自信？
It may be these reasons or others, but the bottom line is that dressing in"sexy" clothes will not cause men to honor or respect women. In fact,it's actually guaranteed to cause men to dishonor and disrespect them. If youwant a man to respect you, and perhaps eventually fall in love with you, thenyou must show him that you respect yourself and that you recognize your dignitybefore God. The best way to show this is through modesty in dress, words,thoughts and actions.
可能有这些原因，或者还有别的什么原因，但问题是这样性感着装并不能让男人们赞赏、尊重女性。事实上，这反而会让男性们不尊重女性，轻蔑女性。如果你想让一个男人重视你，并且可能最终爱上你，你必须让他知道你尊重自己，还有在上帝面前所表现出来的尊严。最佳的表达方式是庄重的衣着、语言、思想和行为。
What triggers sexual thoughts in men?
It's natural to want to dress attractively. But without always being awareof it, women who wear "sexy" clothes are "dressing forsex," that is, dressing in ways that set off sexual thoughts in men. Whydo men react this way, and why don't women always realize it? Because men andwomen are "wired" differently when it comes to the human body. Thefact is, it doesn't take much visual stimulus at all for guys to becomesexually aroused. The sight of the female body, even just a little bit and evenif it's a complete stranger, can trigger sexual thoughts instantly. This mightbe difficult for women to understand, but it's absolutely true.
是什么让男人们想入非非？
爱美之心，人皆有之。但是人们经常没有意识到的是，穿着性感的女人们是在“为性而穿”，也就是说，穿着方式在激发男人们的性幻想。为什么男人们会有这样反应，为什么女人没有意识到这一点？因为女人和男人对人类身体有着不一样的敏感度。实际上，仅仅有一点视觉刺激，就能激发小伙子们的性冲动。看到女性的身体，尽管只是那么一小部分，哪怕是一个陌生人，也能让人立刻产生性想法。这一点对女性来说很难理解，但千真万确。
How about women? My female friends tell me that sure, women appreciatehandsome, well-built men but women are not affected visually in the sameintense way that men are. Women, for example, find words of love, tendernessand sincere appreciation much more meaningful than physical images of men.
那女人呢？我的一些女性朋友告诉我，女人也会喜欢英俊的、身材好的男性，不过并不像男人那样对视觉信息那么敏感。相比较男人的身体形象，女人更加偏好甜言蜜语、温柔的举止和真诚的赞赏。
Given these differences, there's no question that "sexy" clotheswill get a man's attention. For some women this may seem flattering or fun atfirst, but ultimately, it's not fulfilling because it won't attract the kind ofattention or man a woman really wants. Why? Because it causes men to want to"use" women sexually rather than love them for who they are.
鉴于这种差异，性感的衣服毫无疑问会捕获男性的注意力。有些女性们一开始会把男性的注意力当作一种奉承或乐趣，但归根究底让人无法接受的是，这并不是女性真实想要的那种注意力，也不是男性想要的。为什么？因为它让男人们产生了“利用”女性的想法，而不是把她们当作一个真实的人去爱护。
Remember, the sight of a woman's body is so powerful for men, that unlessthey're well-trained and highly disciplined, they'll have a difficult timerefraining from sexual thoughts. And once these thoughts begin, they frequentlyturn to impure thoughts like, "If only we were alone. . ." or"I'd sure like to. . ." That's called lust, and the clothes womenwear can actually trigger these thoughts in a split second. Yes, men are guiltyif they entertain lustful thoughts. But decent guys want to avoid thesethoughts and we hope women will help us by exercising virtue and wearing modestclothes that don't present strong temptations.
记住，对男人来讲，女性的身体充满诱惑力，除非这个男人经受过了特殊的训练并且高度自律，否则他们很难抑制自己的性想象。而这种想象一旦开始，很快就会产生不良想法，比如“假如我和她单独在一起……”或者“我想……”。那就叫好色了。在刹那之间，女性的衣着就能激发这种想象。是的，男人会为自己沉迷于淫欲而感到罪恶。但是，正派的小伙子们也想竭力避免这些想法，而且希望女性们能通过美德、庄重衣服来帮助他们成为“好人”，而不是展示强烈性诱惑。
What makes men see women as sex objects?
Whether you know it or not, if you dress in revealing clothes, many menwill see you as a "sex object." Not only that, but the way you dresscan affect how men view other women as well. When men are prompted to see womenin lustful ways, men tend to develop a warped vision of all women, causing themto view and treat other women they encounter later as sex objects.
是什么让男人把女人视作性工具？
不管你是否知晓，如果你穿着暴露，很多男人会把你视作“性工具”。不仅如此，你穿着的方式还会影响到男人看待其他女人的方式。如果男人被刺激后用一种淫荡的方式看待女人，他倾向于发展处一种畸形的女性观，导致他们把其他女人当作性工具去对待。
Whether it's conscious or unconscious, if you present yourself in a waythat is sexually revealing, even in the slightest of ways, many men will wantyour body for pleasure without regard for you as a person. Many men will seeyou as sexually loose. Other men will be constantly distracted with sexualtemptations and find it hard to get to know you as a person.
不管是有意识的还是无意识的，如果女性以一种暴露的方式呈现自己，哪怕程度很轻微，很多男人想用你的身体取乐，而不会把你当成人看待。很多男人会认为你放荡不羁。其他男人会不断地被性诱惑所干扰，并且很难把你当作完整意义上的人去理解。
Some will verbally harass you. Some will tell you anything you want tohear just to get into bed with you. Still others will try to grope you or evenrape you.
一些人会用言语骚扰你。一些人会告诉你任何你想听到的话，目的就是与你上床。还有人试图猥琐你，甚至强奸你。
Now, let me be clear: no matter how a woman is dressed, that's never anexcuse for rape, or for sexual aggression of any kind. Men who commit theseacts have committed a monstrous sin and a heinous crime. Nothing I'm sayinggives any man any excuse or rationalization for rape or any other crime.
我要澄清一下：不管女人穿了什么，这绝对不是强奸罪行或者其它任何形式性侵的借口。实施这些行为的男人犯了可怕的、丧心病狂的错误。我并不是说要给强奸或其它罪行以任何借口或者合理化的解释。
And by the way, don't be misled by women's magazines that make it look likeevery guy is after sex and you've got to dress "sexy" to get a goodman. That's not true. Only guys who want to take advantage of you sexually willencourage you to dress that way. You don't have to show off your body to meet agood guy.
顺便提一句，不要被女性杂志所误导，以为每一个男人都追求性，你必须穿得性感，这样才能找到好男人。那不是真的。只有那些想利用你的男人才会鼓励你那样穿着。要想遇到一个好男人，你没有必要显露自己的身体。
Get him to love the "you" inside!
So what kind of attention do you really want? Most women want to be lovedand respected for who they are inside, not for their looks. Isn't that what youwant? Don't you want to be loved by a sincere, pure, virtuous man who isconfident, disciplined and committed to your relationship? I know you don'twant to be used by men, and that you don't want to find yourself in arelationship or married to a man without self-control a man who looks for quickflings or who lusts after every cute girl he sees.
让他爱上内在的你！
那么，你想引起别人哪种形式的注意呢？多数女人还是想因她们的内在而得到爱慕与尊重，而不是他们的外表。难道不是吗？难道你不想得到一位真诚、纯洁、品行高尚的男人的爱吗？找到一位自信、自律、对感情一诺千金的男人吗？我想你不想被男人利用，你不想与一位只想着一夜情、见着每一个可爱女孩都眉飞色舞、不懂自律的家伙结交或结婚。
Katherine Kersten, commentator on National Public Radio and chairman ofthe Center of the American Experiment, writes, "But modesty is aboutsomething more: simple fairness. We women demand respect from men, insistingthat they value us not for our looks, but for 'who we are.' It is hypocriticalto do this, and then dress and act immodestly intentionally provoking sexualdesire, and signaling our easy openness to it. To act this way is to undermineour own dignity, to treat ourselves as 'sex objects.' Moreover, it is patentlyunfair, for it means that we are holding men to a higher standard than we holdourselves."
国家公共广播的评论员，美国实验中心的主席，Katherine Kersten写到：“庄重有着更深刻的含义：单纯的公平。我们女性想得到男人的尊重，坚持不想让他们从外表上评价我们，而是要深刻认识'我们是谁’。暴露的着装是一种伪善，衣着、行为不谨慎，就是有意地激发性欲，让我们看上去很开放。这样做就是在削弱我们的尊严，把我们自己当做性工具。更严重的是，它显然还不公平，因为它传递出一种信息，那就是我们把男性置于比我们自己更高的地位。”
Prepare for lasting love
If you are seeking lasting love and a lifelong marriage that unites mind,soul and body, the best way to achieve this is by being the kind of person youwant your future spouse to be. Think of yourself and your future mate assomeone with integrity, a vital personality and strong character. If youdevelop these qualities and demonstrate them through words, actions andappearance, it will help you attract the same in a spouse. Many good men areout there: men with wonderful personalities, men who are respectful,intelligent, and looking for a long-term relationship men who will be faithfuland committed to one wife for life. To find a truly honorable man like this,remember that he'll be attracted to a woman who dresses modestly as a sign of purity, to someone who recognizes that each person is created in the image andlikeness of God.
为永恒的爱做好准备
如果你在寻找永恒的爱，寻找白头到老的婚姻，寻找思想、灵魂和身体表里如一的伴侣，达到这个目标最好的方式就是，你首先成为你希望的未来配偶那样的人。把自己和未来的伴侣想象成是一个诚实正直、人格高尚和意志坚强的人。如果你学习自己的这些品质，并且通过语言、行动和外表诠释它们，它会帮助你吸引到具有相同品质的配偶。你的周围的好男人有：性格好的男人，尊重他人、充满智慧的男人，同样在寻找永久关系、坚定地忠实于一个妻子的男人。要找到像这样可敬的男人，请记住，他会被一个穿着庄重的女性吸引，因为代表着纯洁。对有些人来讲，把它视作一种象征，那就是每一个人都是照着上帝的样子被创造的。
By dressing modestly, a woman also shows that she knows we were made tolove and be loved as unique, unrepeatable individuals. She also shows that shehas reverence for her body and her immortal soul two sacred gifts to be treatedwith dignity and respect.
通过庄重的穿着，一个女人也表明她理解了我们因爱而来到世上，而且是因为我们的独一无二、无法复制的个性而被人所爱。她也表明她尊重自己的身体和永生灵魂，这二者皆得上天所赐，理应得到敬畏和尊重。
As a man, let me close by saying I sincerely appreciate women who make theextra effort to dress modestly. I know several attractive women who alwaysdress in beautiful fabrics and modest styles. What makes these women even moreattractive than their physical beauty and the fashionable clothes they wear istheir modesty. It's a virtue that makes them glow in a beautiful way. It showsthoughtfulness, inner strength and high self-esteem. Modesty also shows a pureheart and the generous desire to save oneself for a future spouse. Think for amoment what do your clothes say about you?
作为一个男人，在即将结束此文时我想说，我真诚地欣赏那些为了穿着庄重而付诸努力的女人。我认识一些非常漂亮的女人，她们总是会穿那种漂亮的编织衣服，看上去落落大方。是什么让这些女人比她们的人体曲线显得更加迷人，是她们时尚的穿着所表达出来的谦虚与庄重。是美德让她们容光焕发。那是细心体谅、内在的力量和高度自信的表现。庄重同时还表明你有一颗纯洁的心，并有一种强烈的愿望成为一个好伴侣。想一想，你的衣服是如何为你代言的？
P.S. Modesty is a beautiful virtue! Men also benefit from modesty whenthey practice it in their thoughts, words and actions.
附言：庄重是一种美德！当男人的思想、语言和行为尽显庄重，他们一样可以受益终身。